Rambles because I feel like talking.

 

I sometimes wonder how Nny would react if he knew about Devi’s stint with Sickness. Would he delve further into his insanity knowing that he was probably the cause or would it cause him to reflect and think about how he got where he is.

I always think he’d probably go through phases of trying to remember what happened to him, only to get frustrated and go on a rampage. He realizes he will always be a slave to something but without the wall monster, he just kills for himself and in a way- that makes him free, but he knows it’s wrong and continues to do it, whether it’s a lack of self control or just a want to make people suffer, he becomes a slave to his own mind and I think he’s at that point of “well I’ve done it a thousand times, what’s one more?” Repeating the cycle over and over.

It seems that he is either unable to learn from his mistakes or chooses not to. Sometimes I think when he talks about how he’s aware of his sickness, he’s also aware that he could stop if he tried but doesn’t want to because killing makes him feel pleasure where nothing else does. It’s just something I find hilariously ironic because he probably doesn’t do drugs and would probably judge others for doing so, all while getting his fix by smashing someone’s skull in.